I am an impatient person. I like getting my own way on my own time. I am a doer and I like to get things done. I hate being told to wait.
This summer it is very clear that I am being taught the great lesson of “wait.” –Wait for me. Wait on me. Wait with me. Wait here. Wait there. Wait. Goodness, it is enough to make my heart grow faint. I struggle to know what God could possibly be up to with this waiting game. I’m ready. I want to get on with things. I think I know the way. I think I know how to plow through. I’ve got my “to do list” and I’m itchin’ to “getter done.” But wait is all I hear.
2 Peter 2:8 says “But you must not forget, dear friends, that a day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day.” I’m reminded that God’s timing is just different. He doesn’t work on our clocks and my Seiko isn’t of much use when dealing with spiritual matters. I can plead my case, explain how prepared I think I am, tell Him how I think things should go and with whom…I can demand my way, beg…but it doesn’t budge God. His ticker is beating to a different rhythm. My job is to align my will to his clock….and wait patiently for the big hand to strike the hour.
It’s funny how much there is to learn in restraining your will to be still when it wants to run wild. Love, patience, self control-hmmm…sounds like Galatians 5 stuff to me…the fruit of the spirit and all. As I write that, I am reminded that we, in our own strength, don’t grow the fruit–we are given it freely as a gift to those who seek it. Another lesson that…seek God in the waiting and he will give you much fruit to bear. Oh this refining stuff is hard….but there is comfort that He gives freely all that we need to get through it.
More than anything in my life I want to bring God glory. I want to be used…poured out…known for a life of love. I have my dreams and visions of what that might look like…my desires to press ahead and get on with it all…but God gives the marching orders and right now He is silent. My heart races with anticipation….pants like the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon who longs for her desire to be realized…no wonder Solomon offers the admonition not to awake desire before its time. We must learn to wait.
So…I get back on my knees and beg and plead and prod and poke…and realize that no matter how I feel I can stand behind the Truth that God is good. He hears my prayers. He knows what’s best. And…I must wait.
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