Today was an absolutely amazing day. I am so incredibly blessed.
I got my midterm grades back today. I got an A on both exams. This is extremely significant to me because I believe these grades are a “God thing.” The week of midterms was an exceptionally hard one for me. The exams themselves were not too hard but I could not focus and was extremely busy with exams, regular school work, capstone work, perspectives homework, social committments, and my job. The stress and anxiety of an over-committed schedule caught up with me that week and I froze. It was so bad that I was wondering if I was self-sabotaging. I cried out to God about it all week. I had no energy to study. I had pulled 2 all nighters and worked a 50hr work week. I was fed up with the amount of work in front of me and dead tired. I reminded God that I had acted out of obedience in pursuing this degree since it was His idea and I needed His help to see it through. I pleaded with Him not to leave me hanging this late into the program. It is too late to fail out now! I shared with Him my bitterness in missing my weekends and my strong desire just to forget my obligations and go play! Then, suddenly out of nowhere I got this huge burst of energy! I woke up in the middle of the night, jumped on the computer, and banged out both exams within a few hours. I felt at complete peace once I was done. I felt assured that I only have a few more weeks left and will never again be asked to go through this same kind of intense labor. I might have to work hard again and forfeit play–but not in this same way again. After finishing the exams in the wee hours of the morning, I was convinced that God had given me the energy and the words to complete the exams. It felt amazing to get the 2 As handed back to me today! God is, indeed, faithful and I know He heard and honored my prayer. My As were my rainbow.
I also had a wonderful conversation with my mom tonight about something important to me regarding my future. It is hard for me to talk about it with her but tonight I was bold and I had such a wave of peace come over me about it that I just knew in my heart that it was right. I know God has been wanting me to have this conversation for a long, long time. Since Labor Day, he put a particular relationship and several key experiences in my path to prepare me for this particular conversation. I can see very clearly every detail He worked out to help me bold… and I believe God honored the conversation today by giving both my mom and me peace about it. I felt so incredibly free at the end.
Tonight, I met friends from my last job for dinner. It was fantastic to see them. I loved catching up on their lives and reliving old times. However, I also just felt so glad to have moved on with my new job! I felt so blessed!! It was incredibly hard for me to leave my old job. Giving up the comfort, security, friends–all of that was one of the hardest things I have ever done. For me, it was a huge step of faith to trust God to totally reorder my priorities, my direction, my goals–my life. It wasn’t changing jobs that was the issue. It was the decision to for complete surrender–in a way I had never yet experienced. Sitting there tonight, I had such incredible peace..and not just peace…but sheer JOY at my decision. I can honestly say I have not a single regret. I miss nothing. I am so excited about my new path and where I know God is leading. Sure, the money and the comfort of my old job is attractive but it pales in comparison to what is offered to me now. Something happens to you inside when you walk away from what the world offers and you consciously choose what Christ offers. There is something so freeing to know inside with full certainty now that I can’t be bought. I am not a slave to money or ambition or climbing the corporate ladder. I am not perfect, I don’t mean that at all, but tonight when I saw the 2 choices in front of me again with a bit of experience of both…I know that hands down, for me, I picked the right one. –and what peace there is in knowing that! God is faithful, indeed.
What a great day!!!
Recent Comments